16-July-2002
Pet Shop of Horrors: Earthsong
by bonnejeanne and cassiopeia
Title: Earthsong
Author: bonnejeanne (bonnejeanne@yahoo.com) and Cassiopeia (cassiopeia@gundamwing.net)
Archive: http://www.no-assumptions.com/gundamwing/
Category: yaoi, AU
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Series
WARNINGS: Lemon/Limey stuff, AU
Disclaimer: Pet Shop of Horrors characters and universe are the property of the copyright owners. Our stuff is ours. No money being made here. As with all our fics, while our goal is to stay as in character as possible, any discrepancies are our mistakes.
Feedback: Any and all comments welcome, be they short or long.
NOTES: This is a sequel to our first fic, "Blood". See Part One for full Notes.
Earthsong: Part Six
The car was silent. Quieter than it could have been had he been alone. It wasn't so much the fact that Leon couldn't think of anything to say, but that he couldn't think of anything important enough to breech the thick, heavy air that he'd let build up between them. It was a silence of years, one that neither of them had ever known the absence of. 'Why' was no longer important to Leon. Everyone in the family had their reasons. He was supposed to hate Chris, blame Chris, make Chris suffer for taking her away... but none of that worked on Leon. He liked to think it was because he was incapable of such a cold thing as hating his own... little brother... but knew the more likely answer was he just liked to disagree with his family. His father.
Finally, his mouth moved, and he didn't have a clue as to why. "I don't know where we're going," he said, not directly to the boy, but to them both and the car, as if the vehicle might somehow help him decide what to do. Leon looked intently out the front windshield, making a conscious effort to decide where they now were... he'd been driving without direction, no destination or clear purpose. Looking, maybe, for an easy answer. And annoyed when one would not come.
Chris sat in the passenger seat, his head turned to look out the window. He'd looked at Leon, once, when the detective had come over to the stewardess who stood holding the boy's hand. Looked intently, deeply for all of five seconds. Then his attention had wandered to someone passing by and he hadn't looked at his older brother again. Allowed him to take his hand, let himself be led obediently to the car, waited while the door was opened, climbed in, never looking at the young man. He hardly seemed to know he was there.
There was no indication he'd heard Leon's comment. The weird impression occurred that Leon could drive him to a field outside of town, open the door, the boy would get out, and Leon could close the door and drive off as if he were an unwanted puppy, without any expression crossing the small boy's features.
Now that he'd broken the silence, Leon found that his mouth kept wanting to move. He didn't give any thought to what he said, or the things he probably should have been saying, just like he didn't give any thought to where the car happened to go. Though if he stopped to think about it, he really had been circling one particular area of town. "Where do we go... I could take you to my apartment, but there's no room." It was small, and he didn't have a bed. Leon slept on the sofa. "There are places, homes... institutions... but..." He finished the thought in his mind: But I won't be the one responsible for sticking you in one.
As they drove, the street took on a more familiar flavor, and Leon glanced out his side window as the police station floated by. He wondered for a moment what would happen if he took the boy inside with him. Jill was probably still in there, working.
Leon kept driving until he had to stop, and when he did, he parked the car in front of the pet shop. He sat staring at the steering wheel for a while, not sure why he had chosen to stop here. When he finally stepped around the car to open Chris's door, he still hadn't figured it out.
The boy jumped out, again without looking at Leon, but his eyes were drawn to the facade of the Pet Shop, and he looked up at it, an intent expression crossing his features. His head tilted and he looked up and up... until he was looking at the sky as far as Leon could tell. Then slowly down.
Shaking his head a little at the boy's action, Leon almost put a hand on Chris's shoulder, to guide him towards the entrance, then stopped himself. Instead he said, "Let's go inside," and waited for the boy to precede him. He did not allow his mind to move far enough ahead to wonder what the Count would think of all of this, or even to plan what he was going to say once they were inside. Leon still did not know what he was doing here.
Chris did not take a step, however. He was still looking at the facade, Chinese characters painted over the door. After a moment of just standing there, he turned and looked up at Leon for the second time since he'd arrived, this look faintly questioning.
Leon looked down at the boy, then shook his head. "I don't know either," he said, trying to figure out a way to get the kid to move. Without the benefit of another option, he offered his hand. At the same time, he indicated the doorway with a smooth jerk of his head. "Inside," Leon said firmly, trying hard not to make it sound like an order.
There was a slight pause and then the small hand found his. At the airport, Leon had been too preoccupied to notice the feel of it. It was warmer, a little smaller than the hand of the boy he'd found himself holding earlier in the day. Perhaps just a little damp by comparison. Ready to drop away at the slightest excuse.
Leon moved them both to the entrance and inside. Somehow, it was now important that they both be off the sidewalk and in the shop immediately. His hold on the boy's hand did not slacken, and he looked down at the top of the small blonde head, wondering how something so small could be a real person. Wondering if something so small could be...
The inside of the shop made everything seem like it was a different color, so great was the contrast between the light outside and the light inside. The boy's hair went from a soft, sand-filled color to one that reminded him of gold, and he looked away. Looked up to see if the front room held D, or even his annoying bat-rabbit-thing. Anyone to take away the feeling of being alone with Chris. It was too much like being alone with a version of himself that he could not get away from.
Upon stepping inside the Shop, Leon felt a slight shift in the small hand held in his. Chris's eyes had gone wide, and his head moved around, as if trying to take in every single detail of the front room, with its myriad of shadowy cages and enclosures. There was a slight tug as he moved forward a few steps, as if wanting to go this way, then his attention was caught by something else and the direction of the tug shifted. And finally, as a slender figure appeared, backing up to bump into Leon's legs.
Leon remained a solid obstruction behind Chris, his grip on the child's hand loosening just a bit. Looking to the appearing slender figure, Leon bumbled his way through an introduction, not knowing what else he could say. "This is Chris, my... brother. Kid brother. Just got him from the airport. He's..." The detective's voice dried up, crumbling away like a tight handful of sand, and he looked to the side, away from them all.
The pet shop keeper stood poised, much like the first time Leon had ever seen him. His odd colored eyes rested on the boy, then to Leon's face. "How nice to see you again so soon, Detective," he said, his melodious voice as neutral and mysterious as it had ever been. "I am honored to meet your brother. Perhaps you will both come inside. I have just made a fresh pot of tea."
Chris stared at Count D, his pupils dilating. At first he pressed back into Leon's legs, his expression dumbfounded.
Without moving forward, D held one hand out, and down, in front of him.
After a moment, Chris took a step forward, then one more, then he crossed the space. His hand as he reached up was so hesitant as to seem in slow motion. Fingers barely closing over the edge of D's hand, his eyes closed tightly as if he were expecting a shock. Then they opened, and he blinked. In the space of a heartbeat, he seemed to relax for the first time since he had arrived on the plane.
Leon had expected questions. Or maybe he had hoped for them, because they would have made explaining the whole situation a hell of a lot easier. However, as he watched Chris take D's hand, the thought occurred to him that maybe explanations were not necessary. At least, not right now.
It felt like such a great weight had been lifted from him, that if he could have found an unobtrusive way to grab D, pull him to his chest and just hold him in some form of gratitude, Leon would have. But he only moved up closer behind the two, following, a hand going lightly to the small of D's back, to get his attention. Leon did not smile, did not frown, simply looked at the other man like he was glad to have him.
The look was returned by one gold and one amethyst eye, for the moment again unreadable. As they moved through the double doors into the next room, the corner of the amethyst eye crinkled ever so slightly as if betraying a bit of warmth, but the other remained impassive.
Leon found himself again looking at a tea tray, this one with three cups, one of the pastries Chang had brought earlier on two of the saucers. When the Count poured and set the cups around, Leon's was the one without a sweet.
Chris looked at the tea and at the Count. He reached out and stuck a finger in the tea, and then put the finger in his mouth.
D appeared to accept this as reasonable behavior. "So Chris has come for a visit?"
"Of indefinite length," Leon finished, mumbling the words a little as he brought his teacup to his lips. After a couple of swallows, he spoke again. "You'd be surprised how few places there are to go when you really need somewhere. But I figure this place is so big," he paused for a minute, a bit of a large, not quite straight smile coming onto his face, "And you could probably use some help around the shop." He did not meet the Count's eyes as he spoke, and the smile remained, his downturned eyes the only clue that he knew what a big thing he was asking - yes, asking - of D.
"How considerate of you, Detective, to think of how busy I must be," the cool tones carried no hint of disagreement or disapproval. Almost as if summoned, Q-chan appeared, flying up to sit on D's shoulder. There was no mistaking the glare in those dark button eyes.
Chris looked up and his eyes opened wide again. He lifted one hand and pointed at the creature and his mouth opened but not a sound came out.
D looked at the boy sharply. "This is Q-chan," he said, his voice carrying a note of warmth. "Would you like to do something for me, Chris? I have a plate of strawberries in the next room, for Q-chan. We can share them as well. Will you get them for me? He will show you where."
Chris looked up and nodded. The first conscious response to anything spoken that Leon had ever seen him make. The creature took off, leading Chris towards the small half-kitchen.
Leon stared at the Count as the boy went, knowing that he should say something. That this was his opportunity to explain. But nothing would come to his mind, and the harder he tried to force something, the further away it all seemed to slip. In an act that was as close to desperation as he had come in a great while, Leon closed his eyes and covered them with a hand. "I got a letter saying he was coming down yesterday. He'd been staying with an aunt of mine, but she can't keep him anymore." The words seemed to fall out of his mouth, as if they had leaked directly from his mind into the air without asking for his approval.
"Would you like me to help you fix your apartment to accommodate the two of you?" D asked sweetly. "I would be happy to assist you."
The question caused Leon's hand to fly away from his face, and he looked at the Count wide-eyed for a moment. Then he turned his head to the side, frowning. "You know I want him to stay here," he said, voice straining to stay even. "What, do you want me to say, please?" Leon sighed heavily. "I can't live alone with him." He stopped after the declaration, catching himself before he got too close to the truth. "I don't know anything about kids. And it'd just be until I figure something else out. I can give you like a... a boarding fee, or something." Leon sighed again, this one far more miserable than the last, and he shut up before he could say anything else to incriminate himself.
"Ah!" D said, sipping his tea. He considered how long to leave Leon in this state. The man really deserved some punishment for his actions... but the Count found it difficult to prolong the agony too much. Q-chan would gloat over being right again - Leon was making him too soft. "Perhaps you would like me to find a home for him... after all, I find homes for pets..." His eyes flashed for a moment. Then he set his cup down. He sighed, audibly. "And now you want to buy me off..." Placing his cup down he gave Leon one clear direct look which seemed to see into the very depths of his soul, past all the lies and evasions and self-delusions.
The sound of light footsteps heralded the return of Chris and Q-chan, who detoured to fly around Leon's head once before settling on the table. Chris carried the plate with singular concentration.
"Thank you," D said warmly. "Will you give one to Q-chan? Your brother is going to go out to the car and get your things. You and I can get acquainted."
More than a little confused by D's words and actions, Leon shook his head in defeat and rose to head for the car. Before leaving the room, he shot Q-chan a venomous look, then a much softer one at the boy with the plate of strawberries. Certainly not a fond look, but one that held the possibility of heading in that direction in the future.
The detective avoided any glances at D as he exited the shop.
Upon his return with Chris's small valise, he found the boy sitting on the sofa and Q-chan sitting beside him, accepting the boy's fingers tentatively stroking his softly furred body. The dark button eyes threw a look back at Leon that matched the one he'd left with.
"Thank you Detective," D said gesturing to Leon to place the small suitcase on the floor beside his chair.
Laying the weightless case in the indicated spot, Leon almost answered in kind, but walked to sit on the sofa with Chris without comment. He did not lean into the cushions as he normally did, sitting forward a bit. It should have all been very strange, and it was, but only half-way. A part of him could feel the other side to that, could feel something that, while it was not familiar, should have been. As if the scene hinted at something that most people would have known, and that he, Leon, had possibly known at one time, but had forgotten from disuse.
Taking a small crumb of the piece of pastry D had had on his plate earlier, Leon smiled, placing it in his mouth. "So, what's for dinner?" he asked, sounding very much like a man who had just made himself at home.
Count D turned and regarded Leon, but inexplicably, the odd-eyed regard softened, warming. "You have time to make a request, but please do not expect hamburgers or fried chicken," the pet shop keeper said, his voice hinting at a tease, or a slight shudder. "Otherwise I will simply do my humble best to provide something acceptable."
The sound of movement caught Leon's attention and a familiar scent. From another door, a small figure appeared. "You came back already..." The small red-haired boy stopped, his eyes focusing on Chris.
Leon stared at Ti-lung for a few moments before it dawned on him that he should say something. "This is Chris."
Before he could get any more than that out, the small blond boy looked up. His eyes fixed on the other boy. Leon felt a brush and realized D's hand had glided across his briefly.
Ti-lung crossed the space, walking right up to the sofa. Chris jumped off the piece of furniture and backed up a few steps but the red haired boy continued to advance, eventually walking in a circle around him. Ti-lung was taller by some inches, looked to be a year or two older, and his scrutiny was intense. Chris finally stood very still, watching the boy circle him. But it was Chris who reached out first, his hand extending to brush the other boy's arm.
Ti-lung stopped, stood with his hands on his hips in a cocky posture, then looked at Count D.
"Can I show him my room?"
D turned a neutral look to Leon, deferring permission.
As soon as Leon figured out that it was being left up to him, he waved a hand at the two children, unable to find any danger in showing Chris a room. "Go for it," he said, leaning further back into the sofa.
Nodding, Ti-lung turned back to the blond boy. "Want to see my room?"
Chris did not make any answer that Leon could detect, but the red-haired boy nodded and reached out, taking the other boy's hand. He pulled Chris back through the door and the two disappeared.
As the children exited the room, Leon turned his attention to D. "They seem to be getting along well," he said, voice quiet and low. Then, in the same tone, he went on, his eyes finding the Count's and making his voice seem somehow more distinct. "That kid... Ti-lung... is he one of your... pets?" Leon did not think so, and only asked, really, so he could tell Chang what a crazy idiot he was, next time he saw him.
"I told you Ti-lung was not a pet. It might make the matter simpler if he were," D said, with a brief, cool sigh. He poured a second cup of tea and leaned back, sipping it.
Leon frowned a bit. "He's just a kid, then, right? He's not an animal? He's not like one of the animals... here?" He knew the pets housed at D's shop weren't quite as tame as average cats and dogs, legal or not. And he had seen such strange things. Things that would not go away, even though he tried to get rid of them. People like D and Chang would not let him.
That was not surprising. The surprising thing was, it wasn't quite as infuriating today as it had been yesterday. Leon wanted the truth, above all things. A truth he could swallow, yes, but it did occur, in a portion of his mind, that perhaps he had been missing the truth in this particular case, and it had been his own fault. Maybe.
D tilted his head, watching Leon's face, without answering the near-rhetorical-sounding questions. After a long moment, he rose from his chair and walked over to where Leon was sitting on the couch. Before the detective knew what was happening, D had perched himself on Leon's lap. His arms rested lightly on Leon's shoulders, allowing him to look into the American's face from only inches away.
"You hear but you don't listen," D murmured softly. "You look but you do not see. Your body changes... but perhaps your mind never will, My Detective." Odd-colored eyes observed Leon dispassionately. "I know you are not the one you pretend to be. But perhaps you prefer to forget."
Leon felt his heart beat faster, masking over any objections his mind might have had to the man sitting in his lap, with the two children so nearby.
It wasn't true. He heard and saw everything around him, didn't he? Didn't he have to? Leon shook his head a little, then met the Count's gaze. "You think I pretend? If you don't like the way I am, then admit it. Don't try to fix everything by saying I'm just pretending." He shook his head again, as if not quite believing he was having this conversation, then continued. "And what about you? What are you? You're cold and disinterested, like you're above everything. Is that the real you? If I'm pretending, then what are you doing?"
The Count's back stiffened and his face took on a look without shifting a feature, as if he had been slapped. His arms dropped from Leon's shoulders and suddenly he was standing a few feet away, back to the American. Something seemed to have jarred the table somehow and a cup on the edge had dropped to the floor, spilling a little tea and cracking the fine porcelain.
After a beat, the Count's voice came although he did not turn around. "It was kind of you to bring your brother for a visit. But I am certain you have work to do, so don't let me keep you."
Leon sat staring at D's back, his sky blue eyes running up and down the man's body. He stood up after a moment, but did not move away from the sofa, his eyes finally stopping. "You're throwing me out," he said, his voice believing it, his eyes not wanting to. "I am everything that I seem like I am. Everyone is always telling me all the things that are wrong with me. Except..." And he stopped and had to look away, even though there were no eyes to have to meet. "Except you. And I don't understand why. I don't understand at all." At the last, he moved away from the sofa, lingering in the room somewhere between D and the door.
As he did so, Leon's eyes fell on Q-chan, sitting perched on the back of the sofa near where Chris had been feeding him strawberries. It wasn't the fact that the little creature was watching him, or that his expression seemed unfriendly... it didn't, actually. He seemed... pleased.
Without turning around, without moving a muscle, D said, "I would certainly never 'throw you out', Detective. But I realize that I have perhaps been rude in demanding too much of your valuable time."
Leon continued to watch Q-chan as D spoke, each making him frown. Meeting the little animal's eyes, the weirdest feeling came over him, and he thought he saw something for a minute, something quite different from what he normally saw. But it passed, replaced by a thought that made his face change, soften, and open. D was... Leon had...
The realization caused him to turn and walk in front of D, demanding his attention. "And you said I didn't see," he said, his voice holding only a statement of fact. "There's no way you could demand too much of my time. I don't much like being away from you. But if you want me to go, I will. Only one more question." With that, he moved forward, firmly pulling D into his arms, everything else in the room fading into darkness. His kiss was slow and thorough, ignoring any resistance it met, and when he pulled away, he found little breath with which to ask his question. "Am I worth putting up with?" Leon's look said that he knew. He knew all that he was, bad-tempered, abrupt, even crude next to some people. Insensitive, definitely. Maybe a little less than intelligent when it came to certain situations. But not so stupid, never so stupid as to let D get away from him.
The Count's eyes had been closed when Leon moved around to confront him, a suspicious glimmer under dark lashes. Only at his hands on D's shoulders did those odd colored eyes fly open. Resistance to the detective's kiss had lasted a few seconds before crumbling. At the low voiced question he simply gazed at Leon. The amethyst eye seemed to conceal flames of passion. The gold eye simply concealed everything. The suspicious sparkle remained, never quite resolving into detectable liquid.
When he spoke, D's low, melodious voice was barely a whisper.
"You know I am not human. If you throw it in my face again, the answer will have to be no." In spite of the low tone, there was a vibration like a soft cry just inaudible in the last few words, as if their assembly had taken an effort that left a little crack in his heart.
Leon jerked a little at the words, unable to control his reaction for just a moment. Then one corner of his mouth came up, and he looked into mismatched eyes, understanding what he had almost done. "What's so great about being human?" he asked, thinking that it wasn't doing him a whole hell of a lot of good at the moment. "As you can see, it's a perilous existence." The last he spoke with a downward glance, vaguely indicating himself, and then the half-smile fell from his lips as his eyes drifted upwards again. "It's easy to forget," he said softly, "That you and I are... different. It used to be all I could see, but now..." Leon stopped, wondering what he was trying to say and how he'd lost track of it, and made a disapproving sound at his own words as he turned his eyes away.
He felt a touch so tentative it might have been his imagination, until it was followed by another, and then he had D curled up against his chest, face turned into the material of his T-shirt, as if hiding behind that and the obliging curtain of his deep black hair. He was still, making no sound or movement, but Leon imagined he could feel a heartbeat against his chest that was too fast to be D's... too fast, like something frightened. Hands pressed against his shoulders, then slid down to fist at his waist.
Behind him, he felt something like an angry pair of button eyes boring into his back. The soft flap of Q-chan leaving the room barely disturbed the air.
Leon's arms came around D's body, the contrast in the protective embrace stealing a portion of his attention, a flicker of his eyes. It was going to be twice as hard to keep D safe from the person now holding him as it was to protect him from everything else. The sound of Q-chan leaving the room left a smile on his lips, and Leon moved his head down, pushing his way through black silk hair to get to D's ear. "I like your pet much better when he's in a bad mood," he whispered, not expecting the words to be understood. His mouth did not leave the area after delivering his statement, and he softly touched his lips to D's neck. As he closed his eyes, he let a bit of relief seep into his skin, and his enclosing arms tightened around D's body.
The hands at his waist unfisted and moved around him. The answer he wasn't expecting came anyway. "He thinks we will fail." The words were muffled since D did not lift his face from Leon's chest. "I am what I am, Leon... I did not mean to chide you..." The arms tightened on Leon's waist.
It took Leon a moment to figure out D was talking about Q-chan. "I think in this case," he said thoughtfully, more carefully than he'd ever spoken before, "Q-chan's opinion doesn't matter. Do you... think we'll fail?" He spoke into D's neck, unwilling to move from the position.
The arms around his waist tightened again. D seemed to burrow his head into Leon's chest. After this little spasm of... anxiety? D shook his head, but still refused to move it away to show his face. The pet shop keeper's poise and confidence seemed to have fled with his mask. Perhaps they didn't exist without it...
Before Leon became fully aware of what they were doing, his arms began to move up and down D's back, like he was stroking the man. As soon as he realized what was going on, he meant to stop, but did not. Even though it felt strange, like something he could never even think to do, that did not seem like enough of a reason to stop. Something feeling strange used to be enough of a reason to stop, and Leon wondered what had changed.
Leon let one of his hands extend its stroking effort and find its way to the back of D's head, gliding down the long black strands like it was something he'd done a million times before, sure and steady. Like something he would do a million times more. "Failure or success is a matter of personal opinion," he said, his tone somehow matching the feeling of his hands. "Failure doesn't even have to be an option."
The body under his touch seemed to relax very slowly, and it had to relax a little before he could even feel the slight tremble. After another few moments of this kind of attention, D turned his head to the side, still pressed against Leon but seeming quieter, or perhaps just a different kind of quiet. Finally Leon felt D nod. After another moment, D finally looked up, hair falling half across his face. Gazing into Leon's eyes, he seemed to find something there. Lifting his chin in a combination of defiance and something like terror, he said, "I can't explain myself to you and I never will." Then waited.
There was nothing he could say to that, Leon knew, that would sound right. Either way, he'd probably be saying the wrong thing. He couldn't honestly say that the admission did not bother him, but he also could not honestly say that he couldn't live with it. "It does bother me," he began, still putting effort towards not saying anything else stupid, "but maybe I wouldn't understand anyway. Maybe someday I will. Or," and the next he said with a bit of a smile, "maybe I'll figure it out on my own."
One of D's arms crept up around Leon's neck. After a moment, D said, "I know." It could have been to any of the things Leon had said.
Taking a deep breath, D leaned up and kissed Leon on the mouth. It was sweet and brief.
"I want to show you something," D said after a soft sigh.
Licking his lips after the kiss, Leon looked on curiously. "Huh?"
"Come, see." D leaned back slowly, his hand drifting towards one of Leon's hands.
Leon allowed his hand to be held, gripped the other's tightly, in fact, and affected a posture that strongly indicated his interest in whatever it was D had in mind.
TBC